Drop out

When you're in your final year of high school, teachers start putting the pressure on you to decide what university you want to go to and try to get your applications completed and sent off ASAP Rocky. I know from my experience, which might not be everyone's experience, I was given very little support in terms of what the best path would be best for me, all I knew is that I HAD to go to university, because it was either that or live the rest of your life working a shitty minimum wage job because nobody would hire someone with no university degree. I was a pretty average student in high school, didn't really put much effort in and got B's in basically all my subjects, I didn't excel in any areas and all I knew was that I was bad at anything maths and science. My favourite subjects in school were RMPS and Philosophy, classes which I was pretty good in (or so I thought until I found out I failed my higher RMPS exam lol), so I thought 'yeah, I'll apply for that,' and after one incredibly traumatic interview and a few months of waiting, I finally had offers from some of the top universities in the country to study philosophy. As much as I was, and still am, very interested in this subject, I knew my heart wasn't in it from the start - I failed most of my exams in sixth year and did not meet my conditions for getting in.

So there I was, sitting with no plans for further study in September, no job (I frantically quit my part time job at McDonald's a few weeks prior because it ruined my life), and absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with myself. But I still knew I knew I had to go to uni, right? So, I started applying to courses in clearing - I found an architecture course at Edinburgh Napier and decided to apply to that. I've been massively interested in architecture for many years and it's something I am still very passionate about, so again I thought 'yeah I like that I'll apply,' without really thinking much of it. September rolled around and before I knew it I was a student at Edinburgh Napier. And I absolutely hated it.

The time in which I started uni was probably the most difficult period of my life for many reasons, and the anxiety that came with being a uni student in a city I barely knew made things increasingly difficult for me. I absolutely hated being there, it was making me resent something that I was passionate about and I very quickly became uninterested in studying and doing work. I had no idea what to do - all throughout high school we were told university is the path we have to take, and the though of dropping out scared the shit out of me because I thought I'd never get anywhere in life without a university degree. I felt so unbelievably alone at this time, but luckily I had the most supportive friends, family, and boyfriend around me, who reminded me that no degree is worth running yourself into the ground for, and that it's okay to not have your life planned out. At the end of the day, I had just turned 18, and the idea that you need to know what direction you want to take your life in at such a young age is pretty strange to me. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people do know what they want to do with their lives at that age and that's totally fine, it's actually pretty commendable considering I was completely clueless, but its okay to be confused and unsure. So, I dropped out of university.

Dropping out of uni and not having any job or anything to fall back on, and no plans for the future, was a pretty ballsy move in hindsight, but after a few days of searching on Indeed I managed to get myself an interview for River Island. It couldn't have been better timing, I had literally dropped out of uni a few days prior and desperately needed a job in order to fill my days and generate some sort of income for myself. I was given the job and decided to use my time working there to save up some money and assess all my different options for further study and where I wanted to see myself in the future. I still work there two years later and I absolutely love my job, as well as all my friends who work there - it's true what people say, you have a totally different relationship with your work friends, and they gave me massive amounts of help throughout my year off. It was a incredibly beneficial to have a year of life experience working in retail, as not only did I build massive amounts of confidence (due to having to stand up for myself when customers try do my job for me), but I also built an interest in the business side of things. In January I decided to apply to college to study a HND in business and human resources, which is what I'm now doing.

I'm currently close to finishing my first year of my course, and I am so happy and proud of myself for taking that year out - the girls I've met at college are some of my closest friends and I'm really enjoying the course, turns out I'm actually rather good at something I once had absolutely no interest in. I've even managed to get into uni to study risk assessment, which is something I actually want to do and can see myself having a future in. What I've learned over the past 2/3 years is that there is no correct way to do things once you leave high school - it's okay to drop out of university, it's okay to take time out to figure yourself out, and it's okay to not go down the paths that your high school pushes on you. If you're unsure about what you want in life, take some time to figure yourself out, and don't let anyone tell you what you're doing is wrong.